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Thursday, June 30, 2005

i didnt know some of the freshies have my blog... then i realise my blog can be easily search thru yahoo or watever search engine... nvm... u want to read just read!! dun BITCH!

anyway i enjoy training with the freshies... some of them are so funny la... when ask them do something... they are like so scare that i am going to eat them up hahahahahaa......

the whole of yesterday... i keep thinking abt alot of stuff... then something keep telling me to quit canoeing... there are times when i really want to give up... but the passion for canoe just oppose me from giving up.... looking back the 2 years.. i didnt enjoy as much as anybody else... in fact i think suffer quite alot... and the journey ahead is seems pretty gloomy...

let me remind everyone again.... dun be surprise if one day i just disappear from canoe...

talking to some ppl from other sch make me realise... that their teams are so much united and they stand up for one another... but for my side... i dun see it happening despite our few attempt for bonding camps... ppl still sit around their comfort zone...

i keep thinking again just now... if i am not in canoeing now... what will i be doing??? i guess i will be getting a part time job or give more tuition jobs to earn more $$$... spend on my japanese classes, saving up for vespa, saving up for ticket n trip to japan, spend even more money buying more clothes to make me feel good n look good.... or even just spend time with friends...

then i think again... if i continue in canoeing now... i will be just finding ways to skip my final year project to go for training... scream n shout at everyone during training and get hated by everyone else... training so hard everyday but end up not even in the team... went home late everyday... dun even have much time for projects n presentation and dun even have to for social life and even doing facial wash with scrub n moisturise my face... my fingers n feets will just continue to peel n dry n flake until it bleed... my skin will continue to be so dry n flaky...

just wonder wat is the thing that keep me from staying in canoeing...

nowadays in sch... hardly see those friends of mine that we always have fun with during my year 1... like kylie, liantee, pat and other sport camps mates... its been so long since i saw them n when i saw them today.... i can notice changes in them... like kylie became skinner n liantee become fatter hahahaa... then kylie said that i am skinner... haiz i think so too... my weight suppose to be 59kg... but now its 57.5kg... i wish i am 5kg heavier... i need more food...

now i am afraid that i cant finish my final year project on time... haiz.. wonder if i will retain if i cant finish it on time'? hahahaa... ah anyway i need to go clear up my gel... now still at the lab doing my stuff... later have NUS friendly... cant wait to play with them but.. wont be able to play against their ivp team.. haiz...

EruPIC