today went training in the morning wau lau no one lor... only me n wei hong nia!!! haiz... no choice la... then we just gym lor... hahaa so strengthless... anyway later on i dunno why i just got the urge to run for 20 rounds... haiz.. guess in the movies they show ppl who just fall out of love can really run alot... haiz... *sad-ed* anyway... i am still in a saded mood... just act strong in front of everyone la... end of the day still sit down n stare into empty spaces...

later on i go meet xue er go for job interview lor... anyway nothing to do also... hahaha the 77th street office very stylo leh!! hahaha... then later on go town.. PS giordano... aiyo!! miss everyone!!! kanika!!! i suddenly just really really miss working at giordano lor... aiyo kanika... got new ah boy liao... dun wan me le... the new ah boy also same as us.. 17.. but taller than me.. haiz.. but he like very toot toot one leh... hahaha aiyo that angie hor so funny!! aiyo if only i am working at PS now... haiz... sad-ed so sad-ed but couldnt lor... due to sch work n canoe... haiz... miss everything... then saw kai shi n jo.... hahaha so qiao... anyway i reserve a berms today at gio!!! super cheap got staff discount!!! only $13.30!!! muahahaha i going to get another one also so shota... my host mother's son... aiya now he grown up le... almost same size as me... then later walk awhile more left le....

then today canoe training.. haiz everyone is like against each other sia... so scary... so fierce n tense... aiyo relax la... i am not in any position to talk la cause i so long nv come down... anyway... i twisted my ankle!!!!!!!!! aiyo... n now my stupid mother she dun wan to gimme money to see the chinese doc lor... so sad... i got a very poor life la.. haiz.. so must work in holiday.. cause my mother forever dun wan to gimme money to buy stuff lor.... fuck sia... she wan me to walk like some handicapped ppl forever.... hate her... i will nv forget how she scar my face ok.... i am the only one with scar on my face... not even my 2 idiotic brothers... argh... sometimes i look into the mirror... really sad... feel like crying lor... why she abuse me so badly when i was young... take the incense poke my face k! n wack on my face... haiz.... its seems that my life seems so worthless.... haiz... still emotionally instable...... i need someone to comfort me now.... haiz... felt so empty inside me... haiz...

eliza bought SPEED new album... i going to buy tml too... its super nice... esp stars to shine again, crying and walking in the rain.......... i super duper like walking in the rain lor... describe exactly how i feel now... so lonely... walking in the rain with no umbrella... and the song crying also.... aiyo... why i feel so xin ku now... i dnno why everynite i just feel very sad... maybe cause i know by the end of the day... i am still all alone... why when i cry my heart is feeling pain.... haiz... feeling really low now... haiz.. leave me alone..... haiz... if one day i just left... just forgive me for not telling u all... haiz.. wat am i thinking now... haiz...

// i just feel so sad now.... really sad... that someone who is really meant for me... pls come out n save me from dying... i am feeling weak now... i think i should just really been gay ba.. hurt by girls so much... someone just come help me pls... \
Ken Dear Dear: haiz... forget it la dear... i think i give up le... i am not god.. i dunno wat she is thinking... she keep on being so quiet... i dunno wat she thinking... i am just like stuck in the dead end...

Sarah jie mei: haiz... i sad is it because i still have feeling for her??? or is it that i just felt so empty with no one around... haiz.. i dun even think she knows i am suffering.... its killing me... haiz..


Xue Er: not funny lor... i actually very sad la... dun see me joke with u... i just try to forget my sadness... but its all comes back to me... so glad u find the one u like... haiZ... wat abt me... will just forever be single... i just dun have the right to love... i must have done some kind of sin...

Ziting: ya its yun yi from MBS one our class mate......