singapore is really getting damm fucking packed... dunno wat's wrong today... the whole town is so packed with damm alot of cars... i wait for bus 162 for 30mins!!! and from somerset to far east there... the bus took more than 15mins!!! kao... singapore going to explode soon!!! so many ppl...

today damm pissed by several things in canoe.... i came for ALL training even have my own extra training n came on time... but i just told them that i cant come only next thurs n sat due to SITEX show... n gimme tulan face... hey... i dun have rich parents n SITEX show can earn so much... i need the money to get a new paddle... guess wat... i am blogging at 4.42am.. i am not blogging cuz i cant sleep... its cuz my parents quarrel n woke me up... my both bros already woke up n out at living room... my mum shouted that my "dad" beat her n she threaten to kill herself with knife... i see this will come soon... that bastard was so afraid that mum will stab him n he ran out la... n i ran to the door shouted to him that he shouldnt bother coming back n i slam n lock the door... but that asshole got key... amazing... something is hiding away from me in the house.... that bastard told me to go check DNA to identify if i am really their child...

joyce have been telling me she saw this guy look exactly like me riding vespa THRICE!!! she said swear that he look like me... well she isnt the first one to say that... desmond once saw someone look exactly like me n he was about to high 5 that guy! somehow.. i really feel that i have a twin... i dun belong to this family... maybe my name is not even ALVIN LEE... i am so different from my 2 brothers... i dun click with them at all...

anyway... that bastard claimed that my mother have an affair with other guy outside... well i knew that all along... i am not surprised... that's why my mum she got 2 hp... she is afraid that bastard knew her the other number... i shouted at that bastard that for these past 10years.. ok put it to FIVE YEARS... he never treated my mum properly... NEVER... if i am my mum... i will also find other guy outside.. its so obvious that the love that had had died... my father only know how to drink n gamble n dun work... he will just work once in a while to get the money to gamble... how thoughtful of him... last sem my sch fees had delayed for quite a couple of months.. my mum work so hard for this family... she wash clothes, clean the dishes n do hundred other chores at home after coming home from a at least 8hrs of driving as a taxi driver... she paid for most of my stuff like my hp bills, my sch fees, my pocket money, my laptop, alot of my canoeing stuff.... i try my best to help her save money in alot ways... dun use hp so much... dun take cabs n save money by taking public transport.. and took up 2 jobs... one olympus n one cafe job... i work whenever i have time... not many ppl know that i have this small little organiser that i plan my schedule nicely every week without failing... i make sure nothing crashes with my canoe training... its on top piority... my mother dun even know that a paddle cost $450... she will explode if she know... i just told her its school's paddle... alot of my clothes are all bought during a sales...

my stupid father ok from now on.. i have no father... treat me as if i am single-parent child... HE...no i should use IT told me from today onwards i am not his son... well.. i told him that i thought i wasnt ur son since the last time i shouted at u? my 2 bros really damm useless... esp. my elder bro... he dun do anything he just stand there like a display set... the only thing he knows is to say... this family is a mess n slam the door n hide in his room... i felt sad for my mum... she raised 3 sons... only i dare to stand up n said something for her... i stand up for watever i do... just like wat happen today.. sk broke couple of glasses n some small glasses pieces flew till dunno where... n one customer came over n said... hi is this thing included in ur baked rice? at first i was really stunned.. i didnt do the cooking today... then he claimed that his gf ate it n found it in her mouth... he was really pissed... i can understand how he feels.. he decided to leave the place.. we only accept the payment for his drinks... we gave our apologies... but he still not satisfied... he came back after 10mins... he still dwelling on that matter... he wan assurance from us that if anything happen to his gf we are respondsible.. i told him straight away YES... we apologise to him already.. nv charge him for the food (DUH!) we even said that we will paid for her medical fees if there is any injuries from the glass cut... n he seems to keep demanding for something... but that is wat all we could do... i talk to him very nicely n sensibly... i told him to think practical... if he keeps thinking that his gf going to die from it... he is just being too paranoid... u cant do anything but to bring her to see the doc!!! we also didnt n dun wish to have this kind of things from happening... we dun earn extra from trying to kill u!

i really want to find my twin.. ppl might think i am crazy but i really think i have a twin.. even if she is not my biological mum... i will still take care of her... she might scold me treated me badly n give all the good things to my other "bros" before me... but no matter wat... she still bring me up... without her i wont know where will i be today.. n sometimes i wonder.. how i learn to be a good person without her teaching me much... i shall start to do good deeds.. i believe that retribution..if i do something good... something good will get to me... i am praying that i will meet my twin soon... really soon...